1.. Wife: You delivered an excellent speech.
Hubby: Thanks dear but the audience was full of fools and idiots.
Wife: Is that why you addressed them as your brothers and sisters?
2.. A true husband is one who lays down the laws for his wife...and then accepts all her amendments!
3.. Husband: tum aesi roti nahi bana sakhti jesi meri ammi pakati thi.
Wife: paka sakti hun agar tum be aeisa aata goondo jesa tumhare abbu goonda krty thy.
4.. Doc: "After looking at these test results, I recommend your husband should have an operation immediately!"
Wife: "But Doc, this will seriously affect his hobby"Doc astonished: "What in the world is the hobby?
"Wife: "Saving Money!"
5.. Wife: Suno ji, Is Haftey Hum Roz Cinema Dekhne Jaayenge.Uske Agle Hafte hum Roz Shopping K Liye Jaayenge.Husband: Aur Uske Agle Haftey Roz Mandir Jaayenge.
Wife: Kyo?
Husband- Bheek Mangenge.:)
6.. Every Wife is a 'Mistress' of her husband . . ..'MISS' for one hour and 'STRESS' for 23 hours everyday . . . !
7.. Wife: "Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!"Husband (ghusay se):"Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!"Wife: "Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!"
8.. Wife: Sirf Mere Liye He PaanKyon Le Rahe Ho?Apne Liye Bhi Le Lo........Husband: Mai Bina Paan Khaye Bhi Chup Reh Sakta Hon. :-
9.. MAN: Cut my hair short.
BARBER: How short you would like to..?........
MAN: itney chotey k meri biwi inhen pakarr na sakey... ;
10.. Patni (Pati se): Tum to Kehte ThyK Shaadi K Baad Bhi Mujhe Khoob Pyaar Karoge.
Pati: Sorry Yaar! Mujhe Maalum Nahi ThaK Tumhari Shaadi Mujhse Hogi..
11..
Chintu: Papa What's the Difference BetweenMother's Tears & Wife's
Tears?Father: Mother's tears Affect your HEART,AndWife's Tears Affect
your POCKET. :-
12..
I met a man who had been married for 66 years."Amazing..66 years!" I
said."What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?""Well, It's like
this...The manmakes all the big decisions...and the woman just makes
the little decisions."I responded, "Does that really work?""Oh, yes" he
said proudly..."66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"
13..
Wife: Janu! Kash aap message hotay, main ap ko save karti, jab chahe
parhtiHusband: Kanjoos, save hi kar k rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko
forward bhi karti?
14..
A HUSBAND's CUTE LOVE QUOTE:Even my child too started 2walk without any
support but my wife still feels 2 hold my hand while walking..!!
15..
Mujhy apny shohr pe shak hy,wo kisi larki sy milta hy.2sri aurt,Phir
tum kia karogi..?1st,Me aj hi apny boyfrnd ko shohar k pechy lgati hon
16..
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs 4 her husband.Suddenly, her
husband burst into the kitchen."Careful," he said, "CAREFUL!Put in some
more butter!Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.TOO MANY! Turn
them! TURN THEM NOW!We need more butter. Oh my GOD!WHERE r we going 2
get MORE BUTTER?They're going 2 STICK! Careful . CAREFUL!I said be
CAREFUL!U NEVER listen 2 me when u're cooking! Never!Turn them! Hurry
up! r u CRAZY?Have u LOST ur mind?Don't forget 2 salt them. You know u
always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!The wife stared
at him."What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how 2 fry a
couple of eggs?"The hsband calmly replied,"I just wanted 2 show you what
it feels like when I'm driving." ;-
17..
Husband: begum khana tayar nahi hua abhi?Begum: nahi g,thori dair baqi
ha.Husband: theek ha mein bahar se kha leta hon.Begum: bas 5 mint ruk
jaen.Husband:5 mint mein khana tayar ho jaega?Begum: nahi mein tayar ho
jaungi.
18.. Difference between POETRY & LECTURE Any word said by girlfriend is "Poetry"&anything said by wife is"Lecture"
19..
Bv doctor se,mere shohar ko sotey mein bolne ki bimaari hai mein unhain
kya doon,?,,Doctr,-Aap unhe jagty mein bolne ka moqa dein¿:
20..
Nobody teachesvolcanoes 2 erupttsunamis 2 arisehurricanes 2 sway
aroundnno-one teaches how 2 choose a wife.Natural disasters just
happen.!.!.!. =P ;-
21.. Beta; mom kal main aur daddy bus me ja rahe the dad ne mujhe utha kar meri jagah ek lady ko de di.
Mom; bahot achha kiya.
